Love's Hiding Page 2
Andrew’s family owned a boat building company which he now ran with his brother and father. When I stayed, we often went out on one of the boats. I loved the water. It brought a calmness with it. To be out on the ocean, away from the world was just perfect. The last time I visited, we spent three days out at sea on a luxury boat. I couldn’t help thinking what it might be like to enjoy that with a beautiful woman. One to snuggle up with on the deck, dive in for a swim with the dolphins, or lay on the deck and watch the stars. It was the first time I’d ever thought about a woman being more than a one-night stand. But as soon as we hit dry land, that thought was gone. I wasn’t ready for anything serious, yet. No one had come along and made me think of anything else other than a good night out having fun, and then how good she would be in my bed.
My parents had the perfect marriage. Their relationship was the epitome of perfect love between two people. One day I wanted that, too. Just not yet. There was plenty of time. I was still young and having fun, much to Grant and my parents’ disgust. On more than one occasion, Grant’s voiced his opinion about not taking life more seriously, especially work. I didn’t know what his problem was. Life was too much fun to waste being serious. He needed to get his head out of the office and live a little. I didn’t think he had ever really let go and played up, or got so drunk he didn’t know what he’d done the night before. That would drive him crazy. He couldn’t stand not being in control, or being so drunk he’d sing karaoke until three in the morning.
One day, I would love to see that happen. I had a feeling I might be waiting a very long time.
None of my siblings had settled down with partners. I didn’t know why they pressured me to stop fooling around. Zach was the closest to achieving that, but he broke up with his girlfriend a few months ago and he’d been a mess ever since. He didn’t share much of what happened, but I knew it really hurt him. My guess was someone else became involved but I couldn’t be sure. I didn’t really take to his girlfriend. Something always seemed off with her. Although they seemed to be happy, Zach never really looked at her like she had that spark. The one that you should have when you find your soulmate. Although he was hurting now, I thought it was for the best. He needed to get out and start playing the field again. I’d leave him a little longer, and then I’d drag him out on the town. I’d find him someone that helped him get over her. Or have fun trying.
Looking at the clock on my kitchen wall, it was time I moved, knowing I had a busy day at the office ahead of me. We were a little short staffed, our business expanding rapidly since I returned from college. Our reputation was also growing, and the jobs flowed in fast. We were working with only one assistant, Louisa, who was shared between a few of us. It was at the point we now needed our own assistants.
Grant took Louisa who’d been with us since Dad was running the company. She ran a tight ship and that’s what Grant needed. We were in the process of trying to find more support staff, also. I was just glad sifting through applications wasn’t my job. Alesha handled most of it but when it got to the final interviews, we each had to do our own. After all, they needed to be someone we could work with for long hours, five days a week, in a small office environment.
I remembered in the initial meeting, when we discussed the changes, Grant tried to put his guidelines forward for the type of assistant each of us needed, declaring I needed a male because he didn’t trust me with a female. My sisters thought that was hilarious and Zach just snickered. I very politely told Grant to fuck off. I would choose the best person for the job. How pathetic did he think I was?
The alarm on my phone chimed, my wake-up to get in the car and drive to the office. I needed to get this assistant sorted so I could get on with my current jobs that were piling up. Grant was a dick if he thought I would play up with any of the staff. Work was work and play time happened after hours and a long way away from my office. Office romances just asked for trouble. I didn’t do serious and if I ended up with someone who didn’t understand that, work would become very awkward.
That Monday, a few weeks ago, when Louisa helped draft the employment package, was a very interesting day. Louisa, being our only employee at the time, was included in the discussion of all weird and wonderful clauses to include. Most were bullshit that Grant insisted on. They didn’t apply to me, so I just went with the flow. Office romances became a very heated topic. Grant wouldn’t take no for an answer. He wanted a strongly worded clause that they were forbidden, due to complications they caused. The whole time he looked at me as a warning. I knew I had trouble keeping it in my pants most of the time, but I wasn’t that stupid to bring it out at work. Zach, just coming out of a shit relationship, was happy to include the clause, and Alesha would never stand up to Grant. That only left Lilly and me. So, office romances were off the list. Not that I cared. Apparently, I was getting a male assistant anyway. There was no way I’d bat for the same team. A couple of friends did, it just wasn’t my scene.
The beeping of the reverse camera on the Range Rover brought my brain back to concentrating on getting out of the garage. I loved my cars and would be so pissed if I damaged any of them. Heading down the drive, I started to think about what Grant said. Maybe it would be safer for me to hire a male assistant. No temptation that way. I would keep an open mind during final interviews, but my gut feeling said either a male, or a sixty-year-old grandmother, who’d bake me chocolate brownies and bring them for morning tea.
The traffic in the morning was light. I wasn’t in the mood for stop-start, listening to horns, and growing frustrated as the car moved five miles an hour. Once I arrived at the office and got work under way, I would talk to Alesha about the prospective applicants she had ready. Maybe I could jump the queue and pick interviewees before Zach and the girls got to choose. I would probably get the inquisition-like questions as to why I wanted the files but I could always talk her around. She might have been quiet like Grant with her little stubborn streak, but I still knew how to sway her. It was part of my charm.
Sometimes, I worried about Alesha. Lilly stopped her from becoming a workaholic who didn’t leave her house except for the office. She had no close friends from school or college, partly because Lilly was always there. Instead of finding her own path, she tagged along with Lilly who was younger. The other reason being she was a self-declared nerd all through school and college.
She’d never had a boyfriend that I was aware of. Then again, I wasn’t sure if she’d tell me or if I wanted to know. It wasn’t an image you ever wanted to picture about your sisters, or parents for that matter. Brothers didn’t matter so much.
Arriving in the carpark at work, I spotted Alesha’s and Zach’s cars. Zach’s, however, didn’t look like it had moved from the night before. He’d been spending long hours at the office since he broke up with his ex-girlfriend. It was his way of coping. If it were me, I’d hit the town each night, looking for fun with other women to help take my mind off it. It sounded bad but that was just me. All fun, no responsibility.
“Morning, Leshy.” Using her childhood nickname, I startled her as I wandered into her office. “You see Zach this morning?”
“Morning, Luke. No, but I do know he’s in the middle of interviewing the first woman for his assistant’s job. She arrived here nice and early. Simon from security let her in as she was on the list for today anyway. Hopefully, she’s a good match for Zach. Then that’s one job I can scratch off my list.”
“I wanted to talk to you about that this morning. Can I have a look and see who you have so far before everyone else gets to pick out of the good applicants? I need to find one before Grant thinks he’s entitled to too much say in who I hire. What is it about him? Just because he’s the oldest, what makes him think he knows everything and that his answer is always right?”
Alesha giggled.
“Geez, Luke, do you want me to find a cure for cancer, too? And as if I know how to work out Grant. He’s the eighth wonder of the world. Strong, confident and a complete myster
y.”
“You forgot biggest pain in my life.”
“Now, now, Luke. He loves us all, it’s just the way he is. We can’t change him. He only does what he does because he cares so much for us. You’re no angel either, party boy.”
“Spot on, sis. I’m a naughty little devil. Just don’t tell Mom and Dad. Because to them I’m still an angel. See my halo?” I snickered, rubbing my pretend halo on top of my head.
“Dream on, big brother. They know you are no angel just like the rest of us do. They just choose to be in denial.” Alesha rolled her eyes and handed me a file from her desk.
“These are the applicants I have at the moment. If you see anyone you want to interview, let me know and I will arrange it for next week. Let me sort out one brother at a time.”
“Perfect, thanks, sis. I’ll get back to you today. Better go up to my office and get started. Stacks of work in front of me. Tell Zach to let me know how he gets on with his interview when he is finished.” I placed a kiss on her forehead and set out for my office. Passing Zach’s along the way, the door was closed. I could hear murmurs and grew curious of who was in there. I’d have to wait and be patient. I hoped she worked out for Zach and I hoped she wasn’t boring, or old, or liked to read history books and wore long pants with high-necked blouses.
Chuckling to myself, I leaned back on my chair, crossed my feet on the desk and flipped open the folder. The first applicant, I needed to move past. She was stunning. Her eyes drew me straight away and those lips looked too inviting. I knew straight away I was in trouble. She could never be my assistant or anyone else’s for that matter. That would make coming to work every day, torture. Maybe I should personally revise Alesha’s criteria for applicants. I needed to grow up and get a grip on myself. I sounded like a horny teenage boy. I did possess restraint… most of the time. But I couldn’t cross that line at work.
The next applicant was a little more suitable. Male, aged thirty-five, worked as an assistant for fifteen years for a construction company in a neighbouring town. Tony was looking a very promising prospect for an interview. What other little treasures did Alesha have in this folder?
Before long, an hour had gone by, and as I finished with the file, Grant stormed into the office, forceful as ever. My brother knew how to make an entrance.
“Alesha tells me you have the applicant file. Can I have it so I can scan them and shortlist appropriate interviewees?”
“Morning to you too, big brother. Yes, I’m well, thank you. How was my night? Oh, just delightful, and yours?” I smirked and Grant scowled.
“Whatever. Yes, morning. Pass me the file. I have a busy day and no time for your humor,” he grumbled, running his hands through his hair. It was one of his traits when he was stressed. Grant never chose to share his life much with us, but we all knew when his mind was elsewhere.
“Here is the file. There are a few prospects in there for Lilly and Alesha. I have picked out two I’m interviewing. I will have Alesha set that up for next week. I’ve kept those two files. The rest is all yours.”
“I need to see those two before you interview them.”
“Fuck off, Grant. I’m not five years old. You may be CEO, but they will be working for me, so I don’t need your help, thanks. Pretty sure I can handle this. I told you that at the meeting. So, I suggest you back off before I lose my temper with you trying to be my father, once again. I love you, bro, but seriously you need to back off sometimes. Now, I have shit to get done, too, so take your file and fuck off back to your office and get your shit done!” I said, raising my voice. This was getting old real fast. I was sick of being the little brother all the time. Not Luke Stevenson, the talented Construction Manager and Site Engineer.
Some days I’d think what my life would be like if I worked elsewhere without my family. Would I finally get the respect I deserved?
Who was I kidding? I could never leave this company. I loved it too much. Well, most days, anyway. I just needed Grant to see I wasn’t his seven-year-old little brother anymore. The brother he’d have to bail out of trouble at school when my smart mouth got me into fights. Zach and Grant would be by my side. Zach, would try to calm down the situation by talking. Grant, however, would wait and join in at the last minute wearing a look that said ‘mess with my brother and you mess with me’. Most times, he didn’t need to say a word. The look was enough. But when he spoke, everyone listened. He’d always had that commanding tone. Looking into his eyes, I saw that was exactly what he’d been thinking about and remembering. With a little shake of his head, he came back at me.
“Don’t speak to me like that. Remember, I don’t need to take shit from you. I’m the brother who has saved your ass too many times to count. When I think you are taking life seriously enough where I don’t have to clean up your mess anymore, then I will stop asking questions. In the meantime, I want those goddamn files on my desk after Alesha has set up your interviews.” With that, he stormed out.
“Whatever!” I yelled after him. Picking up my stress ball, I threw it across the room. It bounced off the wall and landed near the door Grant had just exited. Pity it didn’t hit him.
Why couldn’t he be more like Zach? Why couldn’t Grant treat me how he treated Zach? I just wanted to have the same kind of relationship with him. If only he realized how much I looked up to and respected him. He was a powerful, talented business man who led this company. Although he didn’t show it much, he was also a loving brother in his own way.
Taking a deep breath, I got on with my day, pushing away the anger I felt at once again being treated as useless.
2
Zoe
SMOOTHING MY SKIRT FOR THE TWENTIETH TIME, I studied my reflection in the window of my shitty old car. I had a good feeling about the interview today, which was unusual for me. It had been a long time since I’d felt this positive that my life could possibly be improving and heading in the right direction.
I made the move to a new town a few years ago searching for my new beginning. I had to break the cycle I was in. It had become toxic. If I didn’t break away completely, I would slip into old habits and end up right back where I was in a heartbeat. If it hadn’t been for Dr. Fordosa, I would never have made it this far. For years, I hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone or seek help. She, however, saw straight through me. The scared little girl who’d never lived a life of love. The one who just wanted to fit in and find her place.
She would be proud of me today. Proud that I was taking the next step to finding the life I longed for.
Back when I first moved to Cashmore, I took a few serving jobs. It helped me settle in and find a place to rent. It was a small bedsit just out of town. It was perfect for me. It became my sanctuary. Finally, a place that was just for me, where I could be myself. Where I wasn’t scared.
After a while, I’d had enough of being on my feet day and night, so I took a free course at the local community college studying secretarial and administrative work. It turned out, I had a natural flair for it. My tutor recommended me for a few work experience jobs and soon I landed a maternity-leave office position for the local timber yard. I quickly got used to working out the different types of timber and building supplies. I also got my confidence back with men on a professional level, who ended up being completely different to the men I was used to.
My boss was sad to let me go. Unfortunately, with Janey coming back to work after having her little boy, there just wasn’t room for me for a paid permanent job. The reference he gave was fantastic which I was certain had landed me this interview. He said he’d personally spoken to the woman doing the hiring. I believed that was why I had more confidence than usual heading into an interview.
Looking in the side mirror for a final check, I knew I had to move. My mind ran over all the answers I’d practiced last night for their potential questions. I desperately wanted… no, desperately needed this job. Life was finally a little easier and I would be able to keep it that way with a permanent job. That way I cou
ld start saving for a deposit in the hope that one day I could get my own place. Then I would finally feel safe. A feeling that no one could take away from me.
Looking up at the building I needed to enter, my nerves started. It was an older-style building that looked like it had been lovingly restored. It had character that showed in the beautiful moldings on the pillars positioned in front of the building. Although there was history there, it also had modern facilities added. I stepped towards the doors as they automatically slid open. Taking a deep breath, I took the step towards what I hoped was my future. My new beginning.
“Can I help you, miss?” A deep voice came from behind the desk just inside the door. I strained to focus after coming in from the bright sunshine, as a man stood from the chair.
“Oh, sorry I didn’t see you there. Yes, my name is Zoe Gullivan. I have an appointment with Mr. Stevenson at eight. I’m sorry, I know I am a bit early. I just didn’t want to be late.” My hands tightly gripped each other, waiting for him to check the schedule.
“That’s fine. Zach is in his office already, so I’m sure he won’t mind you heading up now. Just take the lift to level two and his is the second door on the left. No one else is in yet so it should be quiet. If you have any problems just come back down and I will sort you out. Good luck, Miss Gullivan.”
“Thank you. Hopefully we will be seeing more of each other if this goes well. Here goes nothing.” My steps to the lift on the beautiful old polished timber floor echoed in the morning silence. They seemed to be as loud as the thumping of my heart.
Again, I smoothed my black pencil skirt and straightened my blouse in the lift mirror. My nerves were reflective in how much I fussed. Everything looked fine, but my nerves still had me constantly checking. I wore my favourite shoes, black with a block leopard-print heel. They were conservative to match my outfit but the heel showed my inner personal flair. The one I didn’t let out much anymore, but she was still in there.